Zoom, Zoom

I wasn't able to accept the call - it says the chat room is full?!

We r banned from the girls exclusive club.

I'm going to send you a zoom request instead.

I didn't know we had to be on time for this shit.   I was in the middle of watching Days of Our Lives.

Maria, we're going to use zoom.

Frig, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Sorry.  Try this instead.

I think I'm in zoom, but no one else is here?

I got booted.   Can you redo it?

Cath will take care of it.  She always does.

I'm amazed she zoom'd us so quick in the first place.

Mtg ID says it is no longer valid.

I'm waiting for a host to let me in?  

I can't hear anyone.   Can you hear me?  Is anyone there?

Is your mic on?

I can't see anyone.   How do I see you guys?

***

All I wanna do is umma zoom, zoom, zoom and a ….
(Anyone born earlier than 1990 can finish that line.)

We are all zoomin'.

Last night, I was zoomin' yoga in the basement, and Mal and Keegan were zoomin' college recruitment for baseball in the room above me.   Mal is taking an online course next week and it is being taught through Zoom.    I had my first zoom girls date Tuesday night, and we were zoomin' a girlfriend who is halfway around the world in Hong Kong.

If there is something I desperately wish I had stock in before isolation camp began, it would be Zoom.

(I love that I just said that line that I possibly have any idea about stocks, trading them or Wall Street, in general.  The truth of this matter is that Mal has gone from obsessing over 590 The Fan to obsessing over CNN and the stock market.   I am learning the financial markets completely unintentionally through osmosis.  Just the other day I was thinking about overall global impact of Coronavirus and then had to stop myself.   Wait, what?!   Who are you - you took Macroecononics 3 times for God sakes.  You should not possibly be able to have an intelligent opinion on this.)

Anyways, I'm seriously wishing I had stock in Zoom.

***

I lived in Chicago for two years and, not once, did I have the experience of entertainment with my friends on a group video call that could compare to the gong show of Tuesday night.

I had lots of Facetime's and I even had a visit from a few.
(Still don't know which one of us climbed through the front window that night...)

But nothing like Zoom.

What I loved most, besides the obvious of seeing some of my friend's beautiful smiling faces, was how true to form we all were.

The organizer still held the role of organizer, the comedian showed up with the San Francisco Golden Gate bridge as a backdrop (we all know she had her IT tech hubby set her up), those on time for every event were on time for this one and those who are famously late, couldn't even dial in on time virtually.  Kelly Hogan had the best hair, even at 9pm - and Michelle will always be the last one standing at the end of the night.

We are who we are, even when our circumstances and environment changes.

***

And a lot has changed in the last 30 days.

I went to the grocery store in a mask for the first time yesterday, thinking how absolutely absurd this all is.   I waited in line to get into the store, got the pump of sanitizer dispensed on my hands as I entered and grabbed a cart (to which they only had the large carts to ensure proper social distancing was in effect.)

As I walked up and down the aisles, touching my face and mask, (without question 200 times), I couldn't help but try and find comedic relief.

Red arrows are stuck to the floor 6 feet apart.

Arrow, arrow, arrow.

This way, this way, this way.

Space, space, space.

Not hard to follow, but the number of people walking the wrong way in the grocery store is mind boggling.

I feel like I need to create a new job description for the grocery stores.

"Aisle Director" - one who directs traffic to follow the clearly freaking marked arrows in red on the floor.

I mean, seriously?!

Arrow.  Arrow.  Arrow.

This way.  This way.  This way.

This is NOT difficult.

(This is the very loud and currently very judge-y side of my brain.)

It is the "new normal" part that I don't like.

I don't like the distancing, the worry to get supplies, the fear of lack that was created from panic buyer's, and the judgment I've acquired by looking at behaviour different than my own and unconsciously labeling it.

That stuff is all yucky.

What I do love, though, is my weekly zoom date - and it was worth every second of the 20 minutes it took to get us all online as a functioning, dysfunctional Brady Bunch.

As much as I miss our sleepover's, our excuses to get together to celebrate something, our god-awful singing, our group selfies and our heart to heart's that are always best in person - zoomin' is the only part of my "new normal" I would want to keep.

In fact, I was thinkin' this morning about all the future zoomin' I could do.

Maybe I could start some kind of Facebook group and have a zoom meeting for it.   Or I could Zoom date my family for Easter since we kinda skipped the whole holiday (or I did).   Or maybe my Chef friend people could make a Zoom dinner and we buy the ingredients in advance and they teach live (I can already see the disastrous timing that could occur here).  Maybe I could Zoom a leadership workshop this year I've been trying to create instead of finding a space for people to attend.  Or maybe we could host a Zoom call for the wedding party I'm in early next year so we can connect and get to know each other, since dress shopping seems a distant dream at the moment.

There are just so many zoomin' ideas.

I even love that zoomin' is now a verb.

Are you zoomin'?
Yeah, I'm zoomin'.

Man, we gotta get everybody zoomin'!

Zoom, Zoom.
The possibilities are endless*



(*Mazda is so jealous right now).