Sunscreen Is The New Toilet Paper
"You're missing a bobble."
That one sentence literally put me into giggles last night.
I'm missing a bobble on my right slipper.
The same pair of slippers I've worn every single day since March 17th.
A light blue pair of Dollarama slippers that were given to me as a Christmas present with two dark blue bobbles on each foot.
I'm missing a bobble.
This is where we're at.
I have a bobble shortage.
***
I woke up this morning with an urge to burn every pair of tights in my closet.
My current Quarantine uniform looks like this -
Dollarama slippers - $1.00
Black fleece tights from St. Jacob's market purchased two years ago - $20.00 cash
Black long sleeve T-shirt from Old Navy - $9.99 (never would pay full price at Old Navy - it's a psychological win on discounts and savings to shop there)
Black Hazel Mae long sweater that needed to be thrown out at least twelve months ago and I continue to "get another year out of" - $0
Including my bra and socks, I would estimate my current uniform costs less than what we pay to put our servers in at Match.
Every morning, I wake up and grab the exact same outfit (I actually have multiples of this combination) and ding, fries are done. I repeat the same process.
I keep waiting for this creative genius moment to be inspired.
You know, like Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg.
They make one less decision in the morning with their black t-shirts and jean uni's and speak confidently that this adds to their creative flair to wear the same thing day after day.
NOT MINE.
I'm going to light mine on fire like it's Guy Fawk's night in the UK and it is Bonfire night, including the damn slippers missing the bobble.
If I'm lucky, my Mom will send me some treacle toffee, although with my luck, my bridge would fall off and I'd be left missing teeth on the left side of my mouth and driving to Sarnia to get them fixed.
If there are any "less decisions" I could make in a day, I'd question if I was a functioning human being at this point.
Regardless, I'm trying my best to live my best quarantined life here, so I might sport out a pair of jeans today. Right after I spend the afternoon in a sports bra and the lulu's* on the front step topping up my tan, downing a Corona that was dropped off on my front door step yesterday.
*soon to be known as the Summer 2020 Quarantine Uni
***
On a positive, it's May 1st.
There is nothing that gives more promise than the beginning of a new month and May is a month that showers us with hope.
Even though the City of Burlington put out a reminder yesterday that no fun is allowed and "parades of more than 5 cars are banned - see link in bio from the Ontario Government", you just can't take the hope out of May.
The days start getting warmer, the tulips outside my window are about to open, BBQ season has officially begun, sunscreen will become the new toilet paper and the birds are chirping away relentlessly outside.
Even in isolation, there are things to look forward to that only the shift in seasons can bring.
And it's okay to be missing a bobble because guess what?
The Quarantine Uni has changed.
Hello, hello, hellooooooo .........
Oh, how I've missed you, my sweet favourite.
Welcome to Flip Flop season.
That one sentence literally put me into giggles last night.
I'm missing a bobble on my right slipper.
The same pair of slippers I've worn every single day since March 17th.
A light blue pair of Dollarama slippers that were given to me as a Christmas present with two dark blue bobbles on each foot.
I'm missing a bobble.
This is where we're at.
I have a bobble shortage.
***
I woke up this morning with an urge to burn every pair of tights in my closet.
My current Quarantine uniform looks like this -
Dollarama slippers - $1.00
Black fleece tights from St. Jacob's market purchased two years ago - $20.00 cash
Black long sleeve T-shirt from Old Navy - $9.99 (never would pay full price at Old Navy - it's a psychological win on discounts and savings to shop there)
Black Hazel Mae long sweater that needed to be thrown out at least twelve months ago and I continue to "get another year out of" - $0
Including my bra and socks, I would estimate my current uniform costs less than what we pay to put our servers in at Match.
Every morning, I wake up and grab the exact same outfit (I actually have multiples of this combination) and ding, fries are done. I repeat the same process.
I keep waiting for this creative genius moment to be inspired.
You know, like Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg.
They make one less decision in the morning with their black t-shirts and jean uni's and speak confidently that this adds to their creative flair to wear the same thing day after day.
NOT MINE.
I'm going to light mine on fire like it's Guy Fawk's night in the UK and it is Bonfire night, including the damn slippers missing the bobble.
If I'm lucky, my Mom will send me some treacle toffee, although with my luck, my bridge would fall off and I'd be left missing teeth on the left side of my mouth and driving to Sarnia to get them fixed.
If there are any "less decisions" I could make in a day, I'd question if I was a functioning human being at this point.
Regardless, I'm trying my best to live my best quarantined life here, so I might sport out a pair of jeans today. Right after I spend the afternoon in a sports bra and the lulu's* on the front step topping up my tan, downing a Corona that was dropped off on my front door step yesterday.
*soon to be known as the Summer 2020 Quarantine Uni
***
On a positive, it's May 1st.
There is nothing that gives more promise than the beginning of a new month and May is a month that showers us with hope.
Even though the City of Burlington put out a reminder yesterday that no fun is allowed and "parades of more than 5 cars are banned - see link in bio from the Ontario Government", you just can't take the hope out of May.
The days start getting warmer, the tulips outside my window are about to open, BBQ season has officially begun, sunscreen will become the new toilet paper and the birds are chirping away relentlessly outside.
Even in isolation, there are things to look forward to that only the shift in seasons can bring.
The Quarantine Uni has changed.
Hello, hello, hellooooooo .........
Oh, how I've missed you, my sweet favourite.
Welcome to Flip Flop season.
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